It’s that time of year again when the TV is full of advertisements for food, decoration, toys and various sorts of perfumes to name a few. The impression of happiness and cheer is portrayed everywhere, however despite what the TV and movies like to say this is not always the case. If you are dealing with a mental illness either for yourself or a loved one it can be a difficult time with the added pressures of Christmas shopping or Christmas parties and the general overall cost.
For myself, I suffer from depression and anxiety. Some of the worst parts of Christmas for me with my anxiety is worrying about the cost. This year, I have found it hard to deal with my children being older and not helping me to put up the Christmas decorations or being told that my eldest won’t be at home Christmas morning. These are normal pressures and worries but at the festive time they become magnified because there is pressure all around that Christmas is a time of pleasure and fun. I have in the past asked myself if there was something wrong with me for not always feeling happy and full of festive cheer over the Christmas period. I have accepted that it’s ok to feel like that and of course this is part of my anxiety and my depression.
Over the years I have created some techniques that have helped me to cope over the Christmas period. I’ve found that they have helped my depression and anxiety, but I also think that they are suitable to fit with other mental health illness too. This list is not exhaustive, and I would always recommend that they are adapted to suit your needs or the needs of the person that you are supporting. If you do adapt them, please share how you have done so, or what worked for you. We are all learning, and there is no fast and hard rule, what works for me, may not work for you. Equally, I am always keen to see what methods other people use; it could be something that I have not tried and would work for me and others. So here we go, tips for coping over the holiday season.
1) Planning - This is something I start reasonably early every year, although, it is never too late to start. I plan as much as I can, from the meal to a list of gifts that I need to buy for people. I even consider the parties and events I get invited too. It may appear to be such a simple task, but by doing this, I can keep on top of what I need to do, what I am spending and how many social events I am committing too if any at all. Remember, the plan is yours to change, it doesn’t matter if you don’t stick to it. I find that by having a plan, I don’t get overwhelmed by what is going on. I have turned down social events because I can see that I have already planned a few and I won’t be able to afford another one or just that my anxiety can’t tolerate another event. Make the plan to suit you, use your phone, diary calendar or a scrap piece of paper. It’s your plan.
2) Medication and Healthcare - You can include this in your plan if it helps. At a time of year when the surgeries are overrun and closed for the Christmas Period, make sure you have enough medication to see you through the festive period. If you need a checkup before you get your repeat prescription, make the appointment in advance to save worries about not getting in before Christmas. Make sure you have details of when the surgeries are open over the Christmas period and details of who to contact in an emergency including your crisis workers. Keep the information saved somewhere that is easy for you to find in case you need to get to it quickly. You can keep it in your phone or diary, for example; if it’s simple to find then hopefully if you do have a crisis or perhaps finding it hard to cope the information you need for help is close to hand.
3) Support - Whether you are alone or living with a family, support is crucial. Tell your support network that you may struggle, explain that there may be times that your condition will not let you ask for help. Tell your friends and family what to look for if you are struggling. What are the signs? I know mine, my husband and close friends know what to look for when I am struggling. If you alone see if there is someone you can spend time with or at the very least have a friend who is willing to take your call if you feel you need support. Go back to the planning and consider what you can do during the day to keep you occupied. Only you can decide what suits you but for me, it would be reading books or writing. As I have said above, have the contact details for your crisis worker if you have one, or the numbers close by for supporting charities like the Samaritans or Mind. I have listed some links and contact telephone numbers below to help with this,
www.mind.org.uk - This website also has information about coping and dealing with mental illness. They also have a link at the top which asks if need to chat and another for if urgent help is required.
www.samaritans.org - This is a link to the website but if you need to call them their phones are manned 24 hours a day 352 days a year. The number is on the website and here as well, 116 123.
Finally, with support remember the use of social media, the people you follow on Twitter or Facebook if you are struggling put a post up asking for help, or say that you need to talk. Consider the groups that you follow and how there could be someone there that you can speak with. The internet has opened us up to be connected to so many people at the touch of a button, and the beauty is the support sometimes come from people you do not know, but can relate to what you are going through. Always be careful about giving away personal information to people you do not, but as long as you’re careful, you can find support online.
Remember that whatever you are feeling, or what negative thoughts you have there are people out there that care and want to support you.